My Angsty, Self-Discovery Blog

I haven't posted in so long and I know I always say that and I always apologize, but an absence of this magnitude warrants an apology.
In retrospect, 2010 was a rough year chuck full of self discovery. There are some things that you can't find out about yourself and blog about at the same time. But (not that I have everything figured out) I wanted to share some things I learned this year. Plus, I love blogging. In the early dawn light of 2011 I decided it was time to pick it up again, so I Googled my way through a blog revamp and here we are. Snazzy, no?
I wanted to post my new year's resolutions before the first of the year was a thing of a past. But I don't want to rush through into the new year with out giving respect to the old one... because 2010 was awesome. I learned some incredibly valuable things last year. Such as:
1. Just because other people have fun doing things, doesn't make them fun for you. Strangely enough I had to be taught this by a book called the Happiness Project. Once you make this self discovery, it seems so obvious, but it is fabulous to know. Just because other people like parties, doesn't make them any less painful for me. Just because others want to grow up and make a living in dentistry, doesn't make it any less disgusting to me.
2. Is similar to one, but just as important. Don't belittle the things that you do love to do just because you don't think that it is right for you. Namely: I love to sing, something I never did because it just wasn't was normal people did. I love to swim, something I never explored because it was for 'fit' people, something I had never classified myself as. And I never spoke my mind about things, because I thought that no one wanted to hear what I had to say. I've come to realize that what other people think doesn't effect me. We have to do us and the friends that we are truly need to have will appear.

Although it might be difficult, I'm determined to make 2011 even better than 2010. So without further adieu, my New Year's Resolutions:
1. Exercise at least five days a week. I've always told myself (or been told by others) that I was 'to thin', had no muscle and would never pull out of my condition because of my Vegetarian life style. These past few months, however, something changed. I realized that the only thing keeping me exactly the way I am, was me. Nothing other people said changed me, but if I internalized their words, then I would never accomplish my dreams. I've come to realize that I've spent to much time dreaming about the person I will be when I grow up and not enough time becoming that person. I am fit in my heart, so this year I will become it on the outside too. If the person you see in the mirror is not what you see in your head, never change your self perception to match a lesser version of yourself. This will only hurt you. Always raise the bar and make yourself better.

2. Get over my fear of singing in public. I love to sing. I love it so much I don't even realize I love it. I sing non stop, even if it's not always out loud. This year I will let my passion take form. I want to share my love with others that appreciate it as much as I do. This year I am going to audition for a major theater where I live. If I get in I will be singing on stage six days a week. Not something you can do if you're afraid to belt Happy Birthday to a friend.

3. I will regret less. Working to change the future is not the same as regretting the past, yet it takes up the same amount of energy. This year I will think only of the positive things that I and others do. I will use my energy to love others and see the incredible bounty that God has given me. I will try to take for granted less and appreciate my blessings more.

I hope you will continue to read my blog. Leave me a comment and tell me what you think. I hope you have the happiest new year of your life.

<3 Max