I am a new man. I faced my largest fear in the world last night, and only my dad was there to watch me. I am going to be an anesthesiologist when I am older so I figured, I should be able to reach inside a body... so last night as I was putting my plate in the sink I eyed possibly the most horrifying thing in the world lying in my sink. Granted, it has been there before, but it was equally traumatizing. It was a large bowl full of water, smoothy, pasta, seasoned fries, and nachos. I know. It was dirty dish water. And as I stood over that cesspool of infamy, I imagined I was back in Grey's Anatomy, and I thought, is this really more disgusting than reaching into someone? And I said, YES!!!!, and so I HAD TO DO IT! because then I would have absolutely no fears!!! And so I did it. And after I took a few personal hours after that to talk to a counselor, break things, and convulse in private, but after that, I am a new, strong, brilliant, charming, charismatic, handsome, attractive, daring, debonair, and all around fearless man!
And I'm still waiting for glorious iprodegy....
Another thing I might want to look into: reinventing the scrubs....or body building....
This week I also discovered my future car. The Bugatti 16.4 Can you say HOLY CRAP?!?!
That car is freakin amazing. Not only is she a speed daemon, but she is sleek enough make me wonder if she came out of a gun. And the black model is pretty much a new and improved bat mobile.
Should Batmobile be capitalized? hmmm....
I also saw Seven Pounds last night. I have to say that it was an awesome movie, but I think they hyped it up so much that people (me) were expecting the movie of a life time and when it didn't deliver....it was a leetle disappointing. But it was fabu, no doubt. I mean what cooler person in the world is there, than that that owns a box jellyfish?
But aside from the jellyfish I also thought that, maybe he was just trying to downplay it, and it DID fit the character nicely, but Will Smith seemed just a little bit blah in the movie. The other characters were awesome, and so awesome that Will got a little dull....to me....
But you can't argue with the man's taste in cars.
Anyhew. I am off to the glorious land of book borrowing.
The end.
P.S.
The authress Carolyn Turgeon invented the 'The end.' tag and I mercilessly stole it from her without even realizing it. I apologize. No copyright violated.... hopefully.
I think she also invented the word authress...

I have decided that life is rigged. I have also decided that Bill Gates sucks. What kind of fourteen year old is making 20,000 at 14?!?
But I have decided that being a doctor will best suit my purposes. Aside from entering the workforce at thirty, I am in charge (mostly), things are clean, organized, I like pressure, and it is a constantly expanding science, meaning that I will always be learning.
Just kidding. I just want the money.
I am constantly amazed at my fabu bff Carolyn Turgeon, or C-Ditty, as she likes me to call her. The further I read in her fabu new book Godmother, the better it gets. It is full of ununderstandable darkness, which I personally think is quite fabu.
You know, I was thinking that when my kids are adults, you won't EVER know when to use which fork, but there will be advanced Facebook etiquette. It's already developing. Ettiquete are just fancy rules that people agree on to say that this situation isn't awkward because there is a generally accepted solution. Like when you are friends with as many people as I am, it is very time consuming to write on every persons walls (advanced apologies if I have not written on your wall yet :S) So the question is. Who's job is it to write on the other party's wall first? Who's obligation is it? The person who invited, or accepted. It's the awkward telephone call
Hey.
Hello.
.....
Hello?
Yep. Still here.
Oh. Good...
Suddenly you wonder if someone has replaced your best friend with your annoying coworker you thought you dun in with a quart of Maalox and half a bottle of sarsaparilla.
Speaking of iPods, mine is still not here.....
But I DID order a fabulously fabu bottle of mah favorite cologne which Wal-Mart rudely refuses to carry any longer.
In other news, I am on the forth chapter of my revisions in my book, Juno. They are coming along nicely, until I discovered that Juno is a girl's name.... history must be mistaken.
Anyway. Random House called me and told me that their CEO has retired and they were wondering if I wanted to do it as a little side thing, on the side. I'm not sure. I don't know if I want to settle for a seven figure income just yet.
But I SHALL consider.
Au revoir, mes amis.
Terminar.

can we just take a moment and not capitalize anything or punctuate or gramarate like that gold ole' poet of old this is a question mark

soooo many things have happened since i havnt posted since march twenty sixth exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point

first of all coma my amazing and awesome and friend meredith started her swing scene in idaho falls which is coma yeah coma awesome exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point stop she is pretty much an amazing teacher coma as is her awesome and equally amazing friend guy rick stop

meanwhile at max planet coma i have been working on the revisions on my second book and they are coming along mui fabuloso stop

any way coma back to me stop i purchased my tickets for capitalize camp jitterbug uncapitalize exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point

enough about that though coma my mui fabuloso cousen hunter has been tearing it up youtube style stop

meanwhile coma carolyn turgeon and i have recently purchased out tickets to the bahamas stop after three weeks of organic spas coma three hour massages coma and camel riding coma we will leave the drab bahamas and travel to fiji coma oahu coma the caribean coma and rhode island stop it will pretty much be an all around awesome book tour for moi stop

meanwhile easter was fabu and i received a great many jelly bellies and other wondrous gifts stop

rant time coma i ordered a fabulous itouch via the ebay and it has taken a month and it is not stop even stop here stop exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point

anyway coma i am off to save some whales coma tata stop

the end stop