There are not enough (clean) words on the planet to describe my excitement\happiness right now. So, in the event that you know there aren't enough (clean) words, I am so freaken, totally and completely, utterly, solely, wholly, and absolutely flying on euphoria!!!!!
CAROLYN TURGEON YOU BEAUTIFUL POTATOES...pantpant...ON HER BLOG...ME!...SIGNED COPIES...NEW BOOK....WONDERFUL.
Whatever this feeling is I sure as heck hope it doesn't have a hangover. I mean how many times do you get to be called kick-@$$? Well in my case, once in a life time.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This is a school project and I find I write better as a blog so... YAY!)

Throughout history man, collectively as a species has striven to clarify and shed light where ever ignorance is found. Perhaps it is the defining factor that sets apart our species as the dominant one of the planet: our constant quest for greater knowledge. So why would we ever try to keep a dark blanket of ignorance over our own eyes? I think it is that we don't want to face the consequences of our own actions.
Meat is murder. If you say otherwise it is only because you haven't taken the time to research that what happens to those animals in the slaughter houses is a direct result of the market for meat. You are the market. Don't ever say that just because one person stops buying meat doesn't mean the production of meat will slow any. Never say that all those animals will be slaughtered anyway. I ask you how is it not going to change anything. Would you say the same thing about a drug dealer? If there was no market for baby wipes than there would be no baby wipe companies.
But the hard truth that I and so many others have to come face to face with is not that people don't care, it's that they won't care. They refuse to be educated. They refuse to think about what they have done because reality is too horrifying to even think about on a full stomach. Doesn't this tell you anything? It's not that you don't care! You keep yourself so high on ignorance that you can't see past your own hands into the slaughter houses where you may as well swinging the final swipe with your own hand. The responsibility would be equally as great.
So why do we constantly renew our peachy reality with cartoon characters advertising a half off sale of their hind quarters? Something tells me those cows advertising Chick-fil-A don't want you to eat-mor-chikin. I think they would feel more sympathy than that.
So if truth is to horrifying to even think about on a full stomach, change your reality. But unless you are willing to know exactly what you are doing on a full stomach then reassess the situation. Be intelligent. Change one reality until they all change, because the truth is not that you won't make a difference, it's that you make all the difference.

I haven't posted for so long and I need to so here it is.
Much has happened. Much fun mostly.
Fun #1 A week ago my brother, my mother, and myself went to Salt Lake to attend a swing exchange in Utah. It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun and we danced almost eternally. I think our hours added up to about twenty something a day. We danced from noon to five and then from five to eight and then from eight to midnight and then from midnight to four thirty in the morning!!!!
Yes. Pretty much incredible, and we don new incredible shirts advertising our lavish lifestyle.
Fun #2 My dad got me a guitar!!!! YAY!!!! I absolutely love it and she has been crowned Susan by my brother. Even though I don't really know how to play yet, her strings still sound beautiful.
Fun #3 Maybe this should be in FUn #2 but oh well...
I got a guitar DVD and it is awesome and the tutor is even AUSTRALIAN. What more could a guitarist ask for?
Fun #4 I discovered this new... sport? No. Game? No. Art form? YES! Anyweigh, it is called Parkour and it was started by David Belle and yeah. Look it up.
That's about it for now. TTLY!!!!
The end.

OH my GOODNESS! So muy has happened.This is all going to be a blur so gurt your loins or whatever.
1. I have become a VEGAN! yay! Again... It has happened before but it is pretty much... yeah. It is permanent. All I have to do is think about a pussy, cancerous utter and my hand practically jumps off the cheese. It feels really good too. I have much more energy and it is nice.
2. I discovered (OK, I didn't DISCOVER it but I do think it is awesome) the most awesome sport. IT is called Parkour. That is a link to some guys free running and it is just amazing. It's like being a ninja as a hobby.
3. I bought pineapple at the store and the lady had to look up the number... Yeah. Our nation is not very healthy.
4. CAROLYN TURGEON!!!!!!!!!!!! What? You haven't HEARD OF HER?!?! Well then you idiots. She wrote Rain Village and is all around awesome and guess what? She talks to me! YAY!
I did a little mini interview and she answered them and here they are the end.


1. When did you first know you were a writer?
I always knew I was a writer, I think, or at least I always wanted to be one. I loved books and libraries as far back as I can remember, and I was a super dreamy kid who liked to lock herself away in her room and read. Plus I read the Betsy-Tacy books and Betsy was always dreaming of being a writer and scribbling in her notebook and I thought it was incredibly, devastatingly romantic.

2. What were the most important steps in becoming a writer for you?
I guess it would be figuring out how to write a novel. It takes incredible willpower and discipline, and you can't be intimidated by it. Rain Village took me 10 years and that's because I wrote it in fits and starts and when I got stumped I'd stop for like two years.

3. What was the first story you ever wrote?
I wrote my first book when I was 8, "Mystery at the Dallas Zoo," about a bunch of kid sleuths trying to solve the mystery of the stolen tapir!

4. Where do you write?
Anywhere, really, with a laptop, but I prefer writing in cafes or at home at a desk in front of a big window.

5. What are your hobbies when you are not writing?
I play accordion, I do photography (just started dark room), I travel and read... I bellydance and work out with a trainer. I love film and theater and bands and old swanky bars.

6. What is your favorite book?
One Hundred Years of Solitude, definitely. It's sweeping and grand and beautiful and Gabriel Garcia Marquez is like an old time storyteller who'd weave tales around a fire.

7. What is the best story you ever wrote?
I haven't written a ton of stories. I started Rain Village in college and just focused on it for years. I'd say my second novel, Godmother, which comes out in March, is the best thing I've written. It's more structured than Rain Village, more tight. You'll see!

8. Where was Rain Village first conceived?
I started Rain Village for a college course with Paul West. It was just a short story about a place called Rain Village. At the same time I was writing a paper for an Italian class about the three rings story cycle -- three versions of this old tale about a father of three sons who has a very valuable ring and ends up having two copies made and giving rings to each son... but only the father knows which is the real one, as with the world's religions -- and was basing my original story on that tale... But as I developed this world I just felt like there was a bigger story to be told, and I plucked out a minor character, Tessa, and the whole thing ended up being her story, and Rain Village ended up being the place her mentor Mary comes from and tells her so many stories about.

9. Do you write about how you wish the world was, full of love and glamour like in Rain Village?
Maybe, but I think the world IS full of love and glamour, too. Amongst every other thing. Sometimes you do have to take special note of it, however.


10. Did you ever have a mentor like Mary?
No, but I have had various people in my life who served Mary-like functions. Friends, teachers, family members. Mary's just a combination of all of them, as well as my version of the most kick-@*$ female who ever lived

Finding things out about yourself is just as hard as solving a mystery or trying to set the clock on a VCR. When you do put things together I just have to post about them.
Yeah, I know. Most of my posts lately are self realizations. If you don't like it then don't read any further.
Betrayal is bitter. Just a short time ago I had never felt it and now that I have it's taken me almost two weeks to just figure out what I am feeling, let alone sort them all out into specific categories.
At first I was sure I could never trust, let alone look at this person again. No matter how much I felt sorry for this person I could not find a place inside of me where I would ever let them inside my soul. I was a completely new person after this, living on new levels and looking at everything with new perspective.
Betrayal is something strange. Part of the reason I couldn't work through my feelings is that this betrayal was so big that I couldn't see both ends of it at the same time and so I would work through my feelings one at a time but even after doing that I would look back at the whole ugly thing and not accept it.
So I gave up. I figured it would be years before I would feel the same about this person, if that.
Isn't it weird that music is truly for the emotionally gifted. Music is all good but then you have a crush on someone and all of these love songs make sense and touch you. And then you get your heart bruised and all the bitterness in those notes you can sympathize with. And when anything breaks your heart, truly breaks it, opens you up so wide there all the bitterness falls out, music is something that reaches inside of you and pulls you apart on the inside. Whether it's just sitting on the couch, in the hair cutting salon, or in the car, all the sudden I'm far away in music where all I have are these feelings and there is no escape. So I figured that I could only really sympathize with this kind of music, a feeling that felt so fulfilling to me, as long as these feelings were in my heart. After I had forgiven this person all this clarity would be gone. It didn't feel like bitterness holding on to these feelings, because I wasn't holding on. I just wasn't letting go. They weren't pulling so I wasn't giving.
But then I realized, I can forgive this person and still feel these feelings, where before I thought that if I had forgiven this person than I wouldn't be entitled to feel this way, it wouldn't be fair. And, in truth, I'll never feel the same way about that person, but also I realized that I can still feel this way and forgive because it's not temporary sadness and bitterness that brings me into focus. I am so irreversibly changed that these things are written in my soul. No matter how many years I go after forgiveness I can still feel these feelings because I am changed. I can always go back and be in that music and feel sadness in it's rawest form but not be bitter because I am better and clearer because of it.
Sorry, kind of a lot of raving today but I had to get that out of my system.
The end.

Hi yall. Yeah. I'm blogging. It's probably against the doctors orders, but what the doctor doesn't know can't hurt him. Alas, living without depth perception is no fun.
Wait a minute. You don't know what happened. How rood of me.
Here's how it went. I was sledding in some icy gravel pits in Ucon, being pulled up the hill by a faithful friend, and then I don't know what happened, BECAUSE I was hit in the face with another sledder. I WOULD have remembered had I not been glamorously knocked out on the ice. Well I woke up and drug myself up the hill and then on the way home received a bloody nose. When I got home I figured out I have a concussion. As of today my eye is a dark, dark purple, swollen shut, and my head throbs, I have no depth perception, but aside from that I am doing all right. That's about all for today because it hurts to read\look at the screen. Just thought I would keep you updated.
The end.