My Angsty, Self-Discovery Blog

So through a series of 60s-90s television reruns I have decided that we suck. I need to know where my Rhoda\Kramer\Elaine\Creepy next door neighbor who always comes in unannounced is. My brother is to freakin right. We need porches!
I also made a small but inexplicably genius discovery. I have been pondering the picture of people chatting early morning style and I wondered why no one does that anymore, and I discovered the problems with this equation.
Problem #1
Nobody wakes up early enough anymore
Problem #2
Nobody would go outside just for the sake of conversation.
Problem #3
Things like that are just creepy nowadays.
Problem #4
Nobody smokes... Which is why everyone was out there in the first place..

So I thought about it and I decided that I am going to start a world wide family... ok. State wide...JUST A FAMILY, OK?
Anyhew. Whatever happened to the Marie Borones of this world. I want someone barging into my house unannounced to give me food\good conversation. Everybody is moving so fast these days it's like they have no time to slow down and talk.
M.S. (mid script) I apologize for all the random hugs\compliments\creepy smiles I liberally philanthropate in seminary. I am not gay\stalking you\trying to cut a lock of your hair for my pillow...
I just wish it was OK to look people in the eyes and talk. I want to do the weird french kiss on each cheek thing from now on!!!!
OK so we will work our way to that. For now we will just hug. But I CHALLENGE you to be friendlier, look people in the eye, and stir up some drama, even if you have to start rumors that may or may not imply your friend's pregnancy!! I am SICK of boring Idaho. Become a vegetarian! Win a knitting world record!!! And by golly start that breakfast club you have been yearning for all those years!!!! I will come, even if it takes some serious alarm clocking! Join my family!
Au revoir and you can borrow my mom's knitting needles if you want!!!
The end.